Serious Discussions

Bismillah,

My kids seriously trying to engage in conversations about Hereafter, Jannah and Allah swt. Usually I link one of their daily tasks to good deeds->Kiraman Katebin->Day of Judgement->Jannat and rewards to good belivers etc.

Sumayya and Safiyya are both so inquisitive about all the little details and keep asking me more and more questions. So, the other day I was flashing the names of Allah swt at circle time. Sumayya, mashAllah, can read in Arabic and improving daily. She reads the flashcards and if I know the meaning I try to explain. She read the word AlJamiyl in Arabic and I was saying that it means The Most Beautiful. Usually we have made a rule that none can say “I am the most beautiful” or “so and so the most beautiful” etc in our house. We always have to say that everybody is beautiful and equal. Therefore Sumayya started arguing with me

Sumayya: No, mommy. Everybody is the most beautiful
I said: Allah is the Most Beautiful and then everyone else is beautiful
S: No, but everyone is beautiful as well
I: Yes but Allah is the most beautiful.
At this point Safiyya too started arguing
Safiyya: No mommy, Allah is beautiful and everyone is beautiful, same-same.
I: Allah is more beautiful than everyone else. You, me, daddy- we are all less beautiful than Allah swt. Allah is the best beautiful

They were both so touched by this, by the fact that Allah is the absolute most Beautiful that there is nothing and none to compare to Him azza wa jal on earth. Well, to be honest, I too get so emotional when I try to explain these things to my kids. Explaining it to little children in a language that is appealing to them reinforces all the reality of the Beauty of Allah swt in me. SubhanAllah, even writing this I am getting so emotional thinking will I be able to get to see Him swt in the Hereafter?

Anyway, my girls were so moved to know that Allah is the most beautiful and immediately Sumayya asked her next question

-Mommy, is Allah a boy or a girl
-He swt is not a boy nor a girl. We don’t know that Sumayya
-But does He have eyelashes
-I dont know Sumayya. (then I looked at her innocent face for shortwhile). Do you really want to see Allah?
-Yes, mom, I really want to see Him
-Then you have to be really good, extra good. You always have to listen to me, daddy, grandma. Never fight with Safiyya, be kind to all your friends, share your clothes with miskeen and do all the good deeds in the world. Then on the day of Judgement Allah counts all your good and bad deeds. If you have more good deeds then Allah swt will enter you into Jannah and that’s where you see Allah

Then I could see what I said was really having an effect on her. Whenever we read a story, if a character is good then kids keep asking me if he/she is in Jannah. I say I dont know except when we read the prophets’ stories then I know the answer is yes. So, they know all the prophets will be in Jannah together and all the good people will be in Jannah together. And Allah is the only one who can decide it.

They have got into the habit of reading a surah from the Qur’an and making dua before bed time. None asked this, none mentioned;, it was Sumayya’s initiative and when I praised her for doing so Safiyya joined. Usually I read to them 2-3 books, read the surah Falaq, Nas, Ikhlas and leave the room after blowing on to them. Thereafter they read various different surah from the Qur’an, their evening and before bedtime duas in Arabic  plus they make long list of duas in Uzbek. With lights off, I wait behind the door to catch what they are saying. So, Sumayya was making the following dua last night

-Ya my Allah, will I get to Jannah or no….(long pause) Please send your angels to count my good deeds soon. Will have more good deeds or no, my Allah please let me have more good deeds. Let me listen to mommy and go to Jannah

SubhanAllah. They keep asking me so much about Jannah too, usually the question is if there will be an item X in Jannah. Such as, will there be a seaside? a lake? a bouncy castle? an ice-cream van, princesses, castles etc. I have to give them long list of things they could find in Jannah. I say to Safiyya “You can eat as much orange as you like in Jannah because none gets eczema there”. They know none gets poorly in Jannah and none gets dirty even if they play in the mud lol.

I am teaching 2 other homeschooled kids 2 days a week. MashAllah they are such wonderful kids of age 6. We had a long discussion on Jannah with them too and kids were so quick to bring out all their knowledge of Jannah at circle time. Dawud, one of the kids, was saying “You know in Jannah people dont need a bathroom. You can eat all you want but you still dont need a toilet” lol. I was so impressed with his knowledge lol. Alhamdulillah, I try to build on the love of Allah, the love of Qur’an and the love of the prophet saw in a positive way. So, the description of Jannah really motivates them to be the person we want, inshaAllah.

Whenever I want my girls to get on with their little tasks I remind them of angels writing down their good/bad deeds. Also at circle times I do mental comparisons with good/bad deeds. This is a bit too easy for Sumayya but we do it for Safiyya and her elder sister has a turn too, even if she finds it too easy.
-You have 8 good deeds and 5 bad deeds which one is more. Tell me when I clap.

They havent had a chance to use their good deeds tree lately but they somehow remembered it today and were rushing here and there, polishing, tidying etc in order to earn a leaf for their Good Deeds Tree. Alhamdulillah, they help me out a lot around the house.

MashAllah, whatever we do we try to link it back to Allah swt and end up having an important conversations on Aqeedah. Even little Safiyya has picked up so much about HereAfter from our little discussions here and there. I feel this is the real blessing of homeschooling.  We can be an “in-the-moment” mom in the lives of our children inshaAllah.

My little helpers are washing the dishes after breakfast. They bake 2-3 times a week and help with tiding up daily. MashAllah.

   

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Using their own initiative

Bismillah,

One of the overdue posts lol. I used to read at sister Umm Raiyaan’s blog about her child started doing things on her own initiative. I used to get so excited about my little ones being so one day. And Alhamdulillah time has gone so fast and it is hard to believe in 2 months time it will be 5 years since I have first become a mother. Blessed with the title twice since then lol.

If anything I could recall Sumayya benefitting from public school- it was this. She has started doing things on her own initiative, be it make and do projects or study-related things. She was constantly making things for her friends and teacher at school, writing letters to them and always reading books she brings from school.

I remember one of the 1st things she made completely on her own was a camera made out of toilet roll paper. Unfortunately I have not saved a picture of that project but she has used toilet roll paper, popsicle sticks and 2 milk bottle lids to make a camera. I have no idea who injects such ideas into her head and how she comes up such unique ways of proceeding in terms of practicality.

Then she has made a rocket from a kitchen roll paper and wrote down the names of all her friends vertically (not horizontally as we usually do). Then she made a book from an empty nappy box. She cut the hard card board box into smaller rectangle sized chunks. She wrote a sentences on each rectangle and drew a picture to go with a sentence. Then she has arranged each rectangle into pages and used cello tape to put the pages together. Such a talent. Honestly, we have made a lot more complicated things in the past. But, WE have made it TOGETHER. Usually, when we make things together it goes like this:

I have an idea->I research arts/crafts projects on this->I print the instructions->I get together all the necessary items (construction paper, foam, pom-poms, glue etc)->I give instructions->Kids will do it

But all three things I mentioned above, a camera, a rocket and a book, goes like this

Sumayya had an idea->She had thought of the practicality of going ahead with it->she has decided what make/do things to use for her project (toilet roll paper, kitchen roll paper, nappy box, cello-tape etc)->she found those things->she figured out what to do step by step->she made them

Honestly, she used to amaze me those days with her imagination and creativity. I think she got the motivation from school as every week they were supposed to bring in empty cereal boxes, milk bottles and things to use in classroom. Maybe group work, pair work encouraged her to show off her talents like this, wallahu A’lam. But she has not been making things on her own initiative.

Safiyya, mashaAllah makes things all day long. If we want her to sit still we only need to put paper, scissors and glue stick in front of her. We dont have to say anything. She always has an idea in her head. But she thinks what she made afterwards. She is not a thinker like Sumayya.

For example, she quickly cuts lots of paper into small bits. Sticks them onto another paper, wherever she wants, casually and quickly without thinking. Then she has a quick look at final project and then she decides what it is. Sometimes it can be a newspaper ad for toddler group she goes, but a little later she decides it wasnt about toddler group but it was something else lol. She is so hilarious, she always makes us laugh.

Though she doesnt make as many things on her own initiative, Sumayya does write letters. I receive love letters such as this daily from her. She usually writes 2-3 sentences and draws a picture to go with it. The one on the right belongs to Safiyya. You can see how their brain work so differently from their work lol. For Safiyya it doesnt really matter how her final project looks, it doesnt really matter what it is and it doesnt matter if she doesnt cut/paste neatly etc. She only wants to be doing something with her fingers and when she looks at her work finally she has a long time to think of what it could be. She really struggles to decide what it might be lol.

   

And she plays lots of pretend games and role-plays with Safiyya. She comes up with original story-lines. Of course none beats Safiyya when it comes to acting. So, we have perfect team lol. One making stories and one acting them out. One day they pretended a game/story involved Eid party and decided to invite grandma. Sumayya made an invitation card for her grandma.

  

So, it reads : “EID PARTIY! BUVAGA USSBEKISTAN. FROM SUMAYYA FAYZIDDIN. HAV A GOO EID. HUOSE ROAD. IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU IN MY HUOSE“.

Huose Road is the wrong spelling name of our road lol.

Another thing is Sumayya is so sensitive. She cant accept shouting, telling her off and pointing out her mistakes. Safiyya is so cool with all these. But she is irresponsive as well. Sumayya responds to my reaction and tries to rectify herself, her behaviour, discipline. Safiyya, on the other hand, keeps smiling and almost tries to win you over with her smiles. Sometimes when I tell her off she does cry but then she forgets very quickly, whereas her sister remembers it for days and days. Overall, I would say Sumayya is very reserved, sensible and sensitive. Safiyya is much more confident, talkative but also cheeky and can be a bit naughty too. I sometimes struggle how to approach her certain habits (such as spitting) as I find shouting and telling off so counter-productive with her. May Allah help me and make me patient with this child.

Anyway. Here is another letter Sumayya wrote to me. I shouted at her when I was angry. I cant remember now what she did wrong but she was so upset. So she came back after a little while and handed me over this letter. I was so upset and at the same time happy myself. I gave her lots of hugs and we had the following conversation too.

 

The letter reads: “I love mummy (on the cover). To mummy. Way do you shout at me wen I do bad things. It is not good. From Sumayya Fayziddin“. SubhanAllah.

-Sumayya, what happens if I shout at you. Do you get upset

-Yea, I do get upset. If you shout at me then I want to do bad things again and again

-What shall I do then

-You should explain it nicely like this “my darling Sumayya, please do it like this, honey” lol.

Safiyya overheard this conversation and every time I start telling her off repeats those lines of her sister’s in exact same manner. Because she gets herself more into trouble than her sister, I feel I have to do something. I always make dua for kids but other than that I just have to be patient with Safiyya’s some “creativity habits” subhanAllah.

Alhamdulillah, I am glad Allah helps us being open with our children in our family. Sumayya always reminds me of saying “Auzu billahi minash shaytonir rojiym” as soon as I start getting angry and it does help. She explains her feelings rather well for her age and says if I show love when she does something wrong, she corrects herself without being told. I think it is a reminder for all moms inshaAllah.

 

 

 

 

Kid’s Talk

Bismillah,

This is again a new project I have been thinking for a long time. All you need is a child/children and a clean notebook. Write down “Kid’s Talk” on the front cover page of your notebook. And you can record your child’s very unique conversations and talks in this notebook.

Sometimes my children amaze me with very thoughtful statements. Sometimes they make us laugh with their innocence and very funny talks. Sometimes what they say really makes me ponder. I always think I will write it down before I forget as I would like to read and remember these days together when they are older. It must be especially nice to read it together when they are adult and have their own kids. But all too often I forget, with some much running around the house lol.

Anyway, later I had this idea. It’s impossible to record all of their conversations and talks. But what if each week I try to spend 10 minutes  doing a focused activity merely to get them talk, cause a conversation and I can write their conversations, thoughts, opinions and ideas on that topic. Once a week seems to be okay and this weekly KIDS TALK activity takes maximum of 10 minutes. I present something visual, a picture, an object and pose 1-2 question and try to cause a useful and meaningful conversation with both my kids, Sumayya and Safiyya. And inshaAllah I will write down their answers and opinions quickly after the conversation. This gives me a chance to observe their speech development and note what is going on in their minds. I invite all of you to participate in this project and share your notes on your KIDS TALK notebook. Let us have fun reading our kids thoughts and it is so joyful thing to do too!!!

OK. This week’s topic for KIDS TALK is “Growth and Change”. You need to find three pictures of your children as babies and three recent pictures. Talk to them what they did then as a baby and what they can do now as 3 year old/ 5 year old. Try to remember what they say and how they express their ideas and thoughts. Remind them how Allah created them as baby and Allah provided food/family for their healthy growing and therefore we have to be grateful ( this helps to develop the Habit of Gratitude) .

Please share the conversation you have with your kid/kids here inshaAllah, would be nice to read what they come up with :D

A reminder from kids

Today at bedtime I read the story of Hud a.s to kids. As usual, Sumayya was asking me lots of questions throughout the story. These days she is asking more and more about the concept of death, what causes people to die and what happens afterwards etc.

When it was snowy about a month ago, we talked about how ice might cause car crash and people might get injured /die and therefore mommy needs to drive very very slow. We had this conversation in the car. Plus we have really old neighbour who is in and out of hospital and doctors predicting he will go away soon (we have been very close to this old couple, wife- Italian, husband- Ukraine). So, we talk about Stephanie and he might die soon etc. Sure they will miss him…

So, I am reading “Hud a.s was born in nothern Arabia” and she goes “O the prophet Muhammad a.s was born in Arabia too. So they were together”

-No, Hud a.s lived before Muhammad a.s. He died before Muhammad a.s was born

-oh he died because he was too old or because he was in car crash

-hmmm, he was old

-so all of us die when we are old

-yes we do. and Allah has a record of our good/bad deeds. So He calculates it on day of Qiyamah and if you have more good deeds He will give you jannah

-Will He give you jannah too?

-I don’t know. If I have more good deeds inshaAllah ….

-If I am in jannah and if you are not there then I will look for you….

SubhanAllah, when I try to explain things to kids, it’s such a powerful reminder to myself.

So I was reminded at bedtime that we are only here temporarily and our deeds are being calculated and our actions are being recorded and will be brought to us ONE day.

A clean spoon and global waming

Safiyya, when she wants to say something really important, she talks fast and quick, fearing someone might interrupt her in the midst of her important statement. So she was having a yogurt before a meal. I gave her a bowl of soup and was just about to get a new spoon. She goes in her usual (typical for 3 year old) tone emphasizing every word she possibly could: “Why, I already have spoon in my hands. Look, I am having yogurt, i already have a spoon. I can use this one for soup too, though it has bits of yogurt. Why are you wasting clean spoon and causing global warming and killing white bears and penguins” wuhahahahahaha, me and mom-in-law had such a good laugh…Honestly, she is so hilarious, our ‘delovoy’ :)

Sumayya’s dreams

My 4 year old daughter just started to embark the concept of having a ‘dream’ at night. I am not sure what age children start having dreams, but recently she has been talking a lot about ‘video’s she sees whilst asleep. I always say I will write them (our conversations) down, then kind of get busy and then completely forget the exact lines she uses when she tells me about her dreams. So this morning:

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