Positive Islamic Parenting Reminders

Bismillah,

Alhamdulillah, we had our next Islamic Parenting class today attended by 16 mothers. It went really well mashaAllah where everyone shared their tips and experiences on how to help our children with memorizing the Qur’an. If you would like the handouts and the power point presentation from today’s session to be emailed to you please comment on this post with your email address inshaAllah. I will not stop in detail as I have posted previously here and here on hifdh.

We talked a lot about parenting through positive reinforcement today. I had a handout which summarizes ten reminders to be read each morning by parents, especially mothers who are quite busy tending to the needs of a number of children. I don’t remember where I got them originally. But I have got it printed and stuck to my fridge and read from time to time, to remind myself on positive and effective parenting. So, here goes the list.

  1. I am raising my child to be a successful khalifah of Allah, who will help create a truly Islamic World.
  2. Today I will try my best to know and understand all the influences upon my child’s development.
  3. Today I will try my best to help my child understand the power of negative influences to take him/her away from Allah, and the power of positive influences to take him/her to Allah.
  4. Today I will try my best to shield my child from the power of the negative influences.
  5. Today I will try my best to enhance/increase the power of the positive influences on my child to take him/her to Allah.
  6. Today I will try my best to notice some positive things my child does or says, and tell him/her how much those things are appreciated by me and by Allah.
  7. Today I will try my best to say nothing negative to my child. Even if I have to correct my child’s wrong behaviour I will try my best to find some positive way to do so.
  8. Today I will love my child unconditionally, but I will try my best to express that love at times which are most beneficial to my child.
  9. Today I will try my best to be an example of a good and right human being/Muslim for my child.
  10. Today I will pray for Allah’s help that I can be a good parent for my child.

How easy it sounds and how difficult to implement those things in our everyday life. For example, I really struggle to understand what motivates my 4.5 year old daughter to misbehave and I struggle to correct her wrongdoing in positive way.

How about you? Do you find you often discipline your child through negative reinforcement like commenting on their misbehaviour or wrongdoing? Do you resort to force or use physical punishment? Do we as parents put emphasis on achievement and show appreciation of their well behaviour often enough? When we keep commenting on their misbehaviour what becomes of their self-value? Do you worry that “naughty” or “troublemaker” or “loser” might become their self-perception?

 

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15 thoughts on “Positive Islamic Parenting Reminders

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  2. sabrwashukr says:

    Assalaamu alaikum

    Please could u send me a copy of the handouts too – jazakAllah khair.

    I think disciplining very young children is always difficult. I try to remain patient but it seems as though our kids know all the wrong buttons to push!! Allah grant us children that are a coolness for our eyes and aid us in raising them in a way that is pleasing to Him, Ameen.

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  3. Nazish says:

    Slms! What excellent reminders sister. I would appreciate it if you could send me the handouts on the above email please.

    May Allah reward you sister – Ameen

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  4. Assalamu alaykum, sis.
    InshaAllah you n your family are well.
    Please email me the notes n ppt presentation as well, jazakAllah khayran.
    Those 10 reminder points you have written is so hard to implement, subhanAllah. May Allah swt guide us n make it easy for all the parents to be good muslim role models for our children, ameen.
    Sometimes I feel like I’m horrible mother, when I snap at everything naughty my older son does. I know I should be more patient, so you are not alone on this one, sis. I ask Allah to grant all the Moms alike SABR! N help us to become good parents, ameen.

    Wassalam,

    ummi2yusuf@gmail.com

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