Islamic Parenting Circle

Bismillah,

Alhamdulillah, we have launched a much needed project on Islamic Parenting at Raising Explorers. From the start, it has been our aim to work closely with parents. My experiences of teaching has convinced me long ago that educating children would be much more effective if parents understood some basic principles about training a child and how to engage them in learning.

Our first Islamic Parenting Course took place on 21 December 2012. It was titled “Meeting the challenges of parenting in the West, an Islamic Perspective”. Much of what was delivered through an interactive presentation was taken from the book which has the same title.

Parenting, in general terms, refers to caring for a child, helping him/her to be spiritually and mentally healthy at different stages of child development and help him/her reach their full potential as an individual in life. From an Islamic perspective, however, the first notion of parenting that sets the difference is that WE DO NOT OWN OUR CHILDREN. Our children are entrusted to us by Allah swt and we will be responsible for their well-being until they reach maturity.

Allah swt said in the Qur’an “Verily we shall give life to dead and We record that which they send before and that which they leave behind, and of all things have We taken into clear account” (Yasin 36:12). Most commentators derive from the phrase “what they leave behind” is one’s offspring/how they are brought up and other continuous charity. They cite the following 2 hadiths in the tafsir. First, the Prophet stated the two ways of pioneering which will continue to influence and affect others separately: “Whoever pioneers a good practice is given thawab both for that work and for people who will take it as an example for themselves till the end of time. And whoever pioneers an evil practice is given the sin of both for that work and for people who will take it as an example for themselves till the end of time.”  Second, “After one dies, his book of deeds is closed. Yet, rewards for these three things continues: freeing a slave, a useful knowledge that is permanent and a good son/daughter who prays for the good of the dead person.” (Muslim). So, based on these and several other hadith, Children are our sadaqah jaariya- continuous charity. They are the blessing from Allah swt and could be the means for us entering Jannah if we nurture their soul in the right way.

Children have been created by Allah swt with an individual soul and pure fitrah (nature) to worship Allah alone. First and foremost, parents have to help them understand the purpose of one’s life through the worship of their Creator.

Children have 3 rights over their parents. In other words, Islamically all parents are responsible for providing the following three for their children: good name upon birth, good tarbiyyah and get married when they become man/woman of age (Muslim). Very often we give our children good names and majority of Muslim parents do help their children to get married. But we often struggle what comes between these two: giving them the right tarbiyyah.

In the first Islamic Parenting Course, we covered some basic principles for tarbiyyah including

  • Understanding a child
  • Family atmosphere
  • Linking child to Allah swt, incalculating the concept of  ‘La ilaha Illallah’
  • Instilling the love of the Prophet saw
  • Favoritism is not allowed in Islam
  • Setting age-approporiate tasks
  • Showing love and compassion
  • Disciplining without disrespecting

Unfortunately I can not stop in detail about each point here but each is derived from the Qur’an and the Sunnah. Those who have attended the course had the privilege of finding out that precious information, discussing each point in detail and enjoyed the company of sisterhood and motherhood (hint-hint, try to come to the next session). Alhamdulillah, we had really good feedback from all mothers who have attended.

I will soon be typing up the contents of our 2nd Islamic Parenting Circle inshaAllah but off to a class now.

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News news news….

Assalamu alaykum,

We have so much news after our silence that prolonged over 2 months. Wierd, but I do not miss blogging though I believe it is a good opportunity for self-reflection in our home education. Naturally, we have a lot of news to share.

The kids are doing well, all three are developing mentally and spiritually alhamdulillah.

The first kind of big news is that I have started working since last October. It has now been 3 months and alhamdulillah Allah has made settling back to work so easy for me. An opportunity knocked the door and I grabbed it.

I work as Head of Education at Raising Explorers , an out of school Learning Academy. Coincidentally, we just happen to have very similar names but the organization was set up and name was chosen before I came to work. We are open Monday to Friday 4:30pm-8pm and Saturday to Sunday 10am-4pm, teaching children both academic and Islamic subjects. So, we offer classes in Tajweed/Qur’an, Arabic language, Islamic Studies as well as Maths, English, Science. We also offer recreation facilities, namely 2 games rooms equipped for that purpose.

I teach Islamic classes to 4-6 year olds, and English to older students. My job also involves the whole responsibility for what takes place in classrooms- designing/producing documents relating to curriculum development, syllabus design, classroom management, behaviour policy and then overlooking implementation of those policies and procedures in the classrooms.

Second, due to the arrival of cold weather, we were unable to keep the big house warm enough for all of us. So, we moved back to our 3 bed house back in December. Though our girls were much happy to be reunited with their old friends from neighbouring houses, they missed the massive gardens where they spent a lot of happy times. Especially climbing trees and doing lots of nature-exploring with various plants the garden hosted. SubhanAllah, how it was so nice and big and how I miss that garden too (not the house itself). But, deeply, I am so much happier in our smaller house where it is cosy and warm. So, we had to endure another round of packing, unpacking, settling etc. Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it so easy for us this time.

I registered both of my girls for Islamic classes during the week at Raising Explorers. So, I usually take them with me to work. Safiyya is in my class. Although Sumayya is not yet 6, she attends Year 2 classes as she is a lot more advanced than most students in my class. Alhamdulillah, it took at least one of my fears with regards to “socializing” away since they get to do a lot of group work, pair work and general play with other children. The advantage for me is I work there which means I am always watching them. The children are all Muslims (we have non-Muslims attending academic subjects only) and the atmosphere is Islamic. Since they started attending classes at Raising Explorers last October, our home-ed journey took somewhat very relaxed and even more play-based tone. So, what do we do at home?

They get their daily structured/formal Tajweed/Qur’an, Arabic language and Islamic studies intake at Raising Explorers (RE). We do lots of practical activities at home.

First, the three of them PLAY a lot. They have been spending so much time with legos, both wooden and foam building blocks, small animal figurines I bought from ELC ages ago etc and use their imagination to such an extent that it amazes us. Naturally, Ibrahim copies his sisters in whatever they do and developed his motor-skills a lot with the use of those small objects/toys playing with his sisters. They are getting so creative that they started independently making stuff without my supervision. They decide to make a horse from cardboard, or candle holder from orange peels (Sumayya has read it in the book), or an owl from paper etc and get on with it based on their imagination. They know where to get cardboard, scissors, glue etc so when they have proposal for a project and present me their long-list needed items, I say go and get them from this and that cupboard. So, given the time and resources, their creativity is coming along.

They read a lot of books. 80% of books they read is in English. Last month I purchased 3 children’s novels for Sumayya. She took about 2 weeks to finish all three, they were about 200-250 pages each. Safiyya can read most words in stand-alone form but still has not read one whole book from beginning to end. I wonder sometimes at her reading: she chooses a book, opens a random page and reads 2-3 words and then in this manner goes backwards and forwards. But then, she is like that with everything else too. She wants to do things differently….it is hard to describe her care-free and relaxed nature. (The only time she is under pressure is when she is hungry lol)

Occasionally AbuSumayya reads to them one of their Arabic stories or I read to them one of their Russian books. I started reading very popular Russian stories about Doctor Aybolit at bed time. I read a chapter a day, translate and then do quick vocab check on animals (doctor treats animals and all stories in the book revolves around different types of animals). They love it. We read Uzbek books too but mainly fact-based information books. We do not have very engaging Uzbek story books collection yet.

We do Qur’an hifdh revision only. With Sumayya we revise 1/4 of Juzz Amma a day and she reads 1-2 pages from the Qur’an in her class. She started reading Qur’an from back to the front as she was familiar with many surahs in 29th Juzz and found it easier reading that way. Safiyya memorized surah Tiyn. She knows 15-16 surahs of by heart altogether and older students at RE find it really interesting. Most have limited themselves with 4 Quls, as they say themselves and never found motives to memorize more. Unfortunately, we dont listen to Qur’an as often as we did, or indeed, as long as we did in the past. We have to resume this, even though they are not memorizing much.

Writing, again they do a lot of writing activities independently, outside my supervision. Usually one of their role-play games require writing, such as writing prescription (doctor-doctor game), writing shopping list (mother and daughter game) or doing register (teacher-teacher game). Sumayya does not write as many stories as she used to do. But, she still writes a lot of letters to her aunties, uncles, grandma and grandpa back home. Even little Ibrahim has been trying to write the past 2 weeks, he has such a good grab of pen/pencils though does no meaningful writing yet.

Maths, they both finished 2 maths workbooks each very casually. Sumayya is confident in addition/substraction. She can add/subtract 2 digit numbers. I fear she has forgotten much of mental math activity she did in MEP YEAR1. We have to revise it sometime as I have not taught any new mental math topic since finishing the programme 3-4 months ago. In fact, I have not been able to teach any maths formally, i.e on a more structured format. They loved the workbooks and finished them by themselves. They would complete 2 pages a day and I checked the answers whilst cooking or doing some other jobs etc. Safiyya, mashaAllah, is doing basic addition/subtraction with smaller numbers (0-5) and often using her fingers. MashaAllah, she is very confident in maths these days.

Arabic, Sumayya is learning from Gateway to Arabic 2 and Madinah Arabic 1. Safiyya is learning how to read with Gateway to Arabic 1, Arabic handwriting book 2 (from Goodword books). Both of their Arabic is limited to Arabic classes at RE. We don’t do anything extra at home.

Islamic Studies, reading and talking. We read and reread prophets’s stories or other Islamic story books. I ask them to narrate for reading comprehension or do quick Q&A. We talk a lot about Islamic topics, subjects, heroes, places etc. And doing things together like reading Qur’an, occasionally praying together, making wudu, doing some charity work etc helps a lot.

Another good news is concerning Ibrahim. He started talking about a month ago and has been amusing us with his funny speech ever since. His sisters find his way of talking so funny as he pronounces words in such cute manner. He demands to be read even more. Sometimes with hours on end grandma sits and reads to him. He has been writing everywhere. He tries to help us clean when me and his sisters start tidying/cleaning the house. He loves outside and does not mind the cold at all. SubhanAllah, I just can not believe how fast he has grown. The only thing is, I think he misses us when we go to work. We come home around 8 pm by which time he will be asleep. So, I and the girls say goodbye to him at 4pm daily, only to see him the next morning. But, he spends the whole day running after his sisters and copying them in every thing they do. Alhamdulillah, it is so good they have each other to play with and to learn together. I can see it more now how and why only children differ from children who grow up with siblings….

My plans are to do more literacy/numeracy with all 3 at home. Ibrahim started learning phonics. I intend to do more guided-reading with Safiyya, more narration for Sumayya’s reading comprehension, dictation for spelling and story/letter writing for her grammar and creative writing. And we have  resume MEP programme with the girls, revise Year 1 for now inshaAllah.

May Allah make things easy for us.