I have been trying to research and learn more on disciplining and habit-formation lately. I have been trying to improve my relationship with my children, not that it is broken, but perphaps I might take it to the next level inshaAllah.
I’m trying to deal with some painful moments by staying calm and by listening to kids without reacting and by correcting them without overreacting. And subhanAllah, I find it so hard, so so hard. It is a constant struggle, a constant battle to keep improving one’s self. And I have a lot to improve. May Allah help us all mothers out there.
One of the things I wrote down in my notebook three weeks ago “Habit No. 1: Greet each child with a big smile and a hug in the morning. Gently ask ‘Did you sleep well’ and have some cuddly moment reciting morning dua together (Alhamdulillahiladhi ahyana ba3da ma amatana wa ilayhin nooshur)”. Even this small habit is taking me ages to stick to. On the days kids wake up too early or I am up all night with the baby, I come downstairs all grumpy. But need to keep working with patience, perseverance and supplication on forming this habit.
I should learn more about disciplining kids without spanking. As well as reading some great stories about manners and good actions, I often use the Islamic Concepts such as the angels Kiraman Katibin, the book of Illiyun, the reward of entering jannah etc. Often this works, Alhamdulillah. Only sometimes I am not patient enough… So in order to make disciplining easy, I am also trying to develop some good habits in the kids. But even to do that, my priority is to focus on myself. SubhanAllah, I have to reeducate myself and constantly strive for a better ‘myself’ in order to give kids ‘best’ tarbiyya I could. Like the old saying ‘Example is the best sermon’.
Some Habits to develop: